Updated: Jul 12
When I was a child, all I wanted to be was an actor. Everyone expected to see me as a Doctor one day because that was what I would actually tell people. At the age of 17 I had my first chance and it was to play a husband baptizing a child for a church magazine and at that time they paid me 600 dollars for a half a day shoot. Most of us start working during our apprenticeship. We work there for a year or two and then move on to a real job. For some and perhaps you as well had the chance to obtain an apprenticeship doing what you wanted to since you were a child which gave you an idea of what the job is about. For others, it was just a chance to see how the corporate world works. It also did something else that you were not expecting. It gave you a taste of earning money and what you can do with it. After graduating from University in 2008, I got a secure job where I would be able to retire with a nice pension but by the end of 2008 the housing market crashed and I was out of a job. Being honest with you, I was okay with losing it because it did not make me happy. From 2009 to 2015 I went through a series of jobs where I was fully employed with benefits for the two sole reasons of “security” and “money”. And let me be one of the first to tell you that there is nothing wrong with working for money as motivation. Let me say it clearly in my opinion “it is okay to work for the money as your motivation”. Just be aware that is has its consequences. When you know that deep down you are doing this job for the money, the only thing making you unhappy is not your job, it is yourself. Let’s say that you consciously take a position at a company for the sole reason that pays really well in your market. This means a great salary, company car, great benefits, child care, stocks and the list goes on. It is in the sector you are interested in but the company’s corporate culture, hierarchy and power struggle make it a living hell resulting in high rates of burnout. Within a few months or a year you start to wake up resenting your job. Colleagues agree with you that the company structure doesn’t work, people don’t know what they are doing and the workload is too much. Here is where things get interesting because this normally happens when we forget that we took on the job for the money and nothing else. We only signed to do what’s required of us and nothing else because we only do what you are being paid for. This means you do not get involved in politics, you do not fight for the best solution that will save the company money, you don’t stay longer to fix a problem someone else made. But you do get involved don’t you? (Please keep in mind that all that I am saying should be avoided at all times during your lifetime and you should not just work for the money. The reason why I am writing about this is because it happens so often and many of my clients actually confess to me that they are at their jobs because of the money and they have responsibilities to pay for. The struggle is real people.) Our brains are made to fix problems. Here is where the mental conflict begins. You attempt to fix things, you stay at work longer, create meetings to discuss and find potential solutions, you speak to your superiors and guess what? Nothing happens, no decision is made, or a decision is taken that you know for sure won’t help but it is a political one therefore you have to accept it. But you don’t accept it, because you know you can fix the problem if you could just get a chance but you don’t. Your workload is unrealistic yet you convince yourself that you can do it forgetting that some decisions need to be made by your superiors which forget about answering you or go with a totally different opinion. You most likely feel demoralized, without a voice and that no one cares. You need the job because you still have to pay for your house, your car and save for your kids so what do you do then? There are a few options like find another job, change your position at your company (if possible) but what if you want to stay where you are and just get rid of hating your job? Here are 5 tips on how to stop hating your job. 1. Go back to the ROOTS Realign yourself with your initial decision. Why did you take the job in the first place? If your true answer was “the money” then remind yourself every time you feel like you hate your job that you are doing it for the money.
2. Leave the politics to politicians Share your idea or solution clearly with the team or your superior and let them decide. Big corporations are mainly driven by politics for example, your idea might be to hire a service provider that knows what they are doing, will get the job done quickly and effectively. But it turns out that the corporation has a partner that will get it done for half the price and of course we know what this means. From a cost standpoint this option seems better even though we know that this might bring real trouble in the future. Understand that there are bigger motives at play that you have no control of.
3. Let the devil speak and answer him back There will be a constant voice that tells you how bad your situation is and how bad the job is. Let him speak and listen to him because this is your subconscious mind telling you that you are not serving your full potential and helping the company and it is okay. This is normal so don’t get frustrated about it. Instead acknowledge those points, explain why it is happening like that in a neutral way and finish by saying good things about the company such as “it provides me with a salary to give my family what they deserve” and “it allows me to take a vacation with my extra hours and spend it with my family”.
4. Don’t let people add wood to your fire Stay away from complainers. Chances are that if you signed up for the money other people did as well. These people will most likely complain about the conditions so stay away from these conversations and if you end up involved in one, try to also say good things about the company to counterbalance the negative atmosphere. After sometime they will stop complaining to you because your thoughts and theirs are not in sync. 5. You don’t “have to” you “GET TO” do this Remember that the same way you got this job, you might get another one. This means that every morning when the negative thoughts kick in say to yourself “I get to go to work” I don’t have to go to this particular job because I can find another one. “I get to go to work” and “I will give it my very best”. This is a great way to balance your day because you are telling yourself that you are not being forced to do this you are doing it out of your own will. On top of that, you will give it your best so that from your side you have done everything possible to help the company and your colleagues out. If they decide not to go with your ideas then it is on them but at least you get to contribute.
6. What is in your control? We tend to believe that everything is in our control when very little is. We do have the ability to influence things but rarely do we get to control them. The next time you are frustrated about your job, think for a second and see if the feeling is coming because you feel a lack of control of the situation. Is a decision being made that is not what you suggested? Can you control the decision? Is it possible to control what others do and don’t do? Remember that only you can control yourself and your actions, you cannot control other people. In conclusion, we tend to believe that we have control over everything when in reality there is very little we can control. The only thing we can control is our thoughts because they dictate our feelings and feelings dictate our actions. Rewiring your way of thinking can be the best solution to how you feel about work because creating a different thought about your work will give you a different feeling and as a result you will act differently. There are always different sides to the story and we normally see it one way. There are more advanced techniques such as “NLP” and the “Conditioning Principle” that could help you see things differently. And these methods are not to be used on others, they are for you only. If you have any questions regarding this topic, feel fee to contact me.